#cindyism family and fueding with Wendy Wortham and Cindy Daniel

My twins son Robert and his wife Stephaney, fight CONSTANTLY, and mostly about NOTHING! My twin fights with him over constantly adding tattoos and his wife is guilty of it too. Robert doesn’t like to dress up, a crime I am guilty of myself lol!

   
The little twins Makenna and Maryssa argue as well, usually over music, but now, add cute boys to the list too. 
Me and my twin are “TIGHTER than a CHAIN link FENCE” but occasionally, we argue over her, constantly trying to dress me FANCY, when I don’t like to “dress up” for ANY event! But occasionally, I will cave in:)

Sometimes, with outdoor events “it can get COLDER than a LAWYERS, or an EX HUSBANDS heart” outside. But, in the SUMMER, I am tempted to STUFF my bra with some ice! 

Wendy INSIST on everybody being on time at Wortham world, we ALL know, “that TRACTOR ain’t gonna PLOW” and that’s a sure fire way to get her GIRDLE popping, because folks are ALWAYS late! Which can make my twin, a “SQUIRRELS DINNER” (nuts) so she LIES about the time, so we all get there actually EARLY!

  
She worries about EVERYTHING, I myself try to worry about NOTHING! Actually if I HAVE to worry about something, I tell HER, and she will solve my problem for me, she is as HANDY, as SYRUP to PANCAKES.

  
Her list making skills, should be patented! She’s 100x times worse than Santa Claus, because she will check HER LIST, numerous times. She over packs for any trip, while I don’t pack at ALL, for myself, I have a black dress, it goes with EVERYTHING, my focus is always, the little twins. 

  
 Neither of our husbands ever escort us on our ventures, mainly because I argue with mine, a lot, and WENDYS husband Mathew likes “peace and quiet” which I don’t know when he ever gets to enjoy that luxury, not with this band of hillbillies and rednecks! 

  
When we do arrive, we are LOUDER than the HALF time events DURING a SUPER BOWL” storming through, WENDYS immaculate home. I like to “point out” how UBER clean HER house is, because mine, is the total OPPOSITE! Yes we are twins, but with completely different personalities and mannerisms.

  
My husband is famous, for being INVISIBLE, whenever I need him for anything, and yea it really burns my BISQUITS! So when he ask for me for something, I am constantly reminding him, of all the broken things I had to fix, because he was hiding from me. 

  
And so it goes, ” even if you step in OLD SHIT, it’s still gonna STINK” (people don’t change, problems don’t go away)
You could send my old man to the store for BREAD, and he would come home with MILK. But after 20+ years, just because I OWN this horse, doesn’t mean I can make him RIDE!  

  
All of us are a FEW fruit trees shy of an ORCHARD, sometimes. (Crazy)
But when the entire family gets together, we are a “SQUIRRELS BUFFET” (mixed nuts)
Wendy has a gift of making you want to end an argument, I call it the “pack your BAGS, she’s sending us on a GUILT TRIP again” scenario, she’s really GOOD at it tho.

  
And if that doesn’t work, then things can get really HARD, IE food and stuff, because she always foots the BILL on everything. And hey, food is something I REALLY enjoy, especially when somebody else is paying! If you KICK a chair out for me, at your table, I ain’t gonna be SHY.

  
I love going over to my twins house, since she over purchases everything I always leave with some bags lol, although, she did tell me, her husband noticed I arrive empty handed, and leave with bags?! Hmmm I didn’t know he was paying attention, oh well:)

  
We are all excited about this weekends events, will there be drama? Of course, when FAMILY is a constant around here, and NOBODY can ever agree on ANYTHING, might as well, let the good times roll! TWO sets of TWINS and friends, get ready world, “we might NOT be the DIAMONDS you wanted, but this handful of CZ’s will SHINE ON!

God bless us ALL
  

#cindyism Wendy Wortham and Cindy Daniel The Pawning Planners

I have worked a farm, built a dairy and worked a feed store. My life has been an adventurous one, my twin on the other hand, is way more city. And that’s good, because, we are IDENTICAL twins, EXEPT for our personalities.
We don’t “act” better than anybody, because we aren’t, what you see, is WHO we are.
But then again, “don’t come barging through our FRONT door, if you are too GOOD, to sweep the PORCH”. (Think you are better than anybody)
Ain’t my fault if SOME folks can’t see the CORN FIELD, for the CROP!

I don’t “THROW trash, over other people’s FENCE, when I am living at the DUMP” (be a hypocrite) 
Some folks “advice” is as unwanted as a GRIZZLY at a CAMP FIRE!
When folks, family too, get my girdle popping, I have “advice” for ALL of them lol. And that makes me HAPPIER than a BULL rider, at opening day of the STOCK SHOW.
  “light may be FASTER than SOUND, until you LISTEN, to some folks, and REALIZE, their BULB, hasn’t been LIT, in a LONG time”.

  
Examples……
1. The KNOW it all,
“Don’t stand around clucking like the PRIZE hen, unless you got EGGS dropping out the other end”
“Just because you are a CLOWN, doesn’t qualify you as the RINGLEADER in my CIRCUS”
You know……
“Some folks, like to stir up more CRAP, then a CAT in a LITTER BOX”
Because I don’t go around “kicking a chair out for folks, at my dinner table” they just feel they should SHOW up uninvited, and ATTEMPT to LEAD in the DINNER prayer! (Take over)

  
2. The CRAZY ones,
“A SQUIRRELS dinner” (nuts).                     “A few pages, SHY of a BOOK”                     “As CRACKED as an ENGINE block”.           “A few WHEELS, short of a DOOLEY”.     “There’s a lot of SMOKE in the KITCHEN, but no FOOD,on the STOVE” (they ain’t all there) Because, we all know that…… “Their STORY, is usually going to have, more HOLES in it, than the TARGET sheet, at the SHOOTING gallery” but they will spin their yarn anyway.                                     3. The LAZY ones,                                          “Just like a BLISTER, showing up, when the work is all DONE”.                                      “They must have been eating LEAD sandwiches, and it went to their A$$”.      Or worse, they try to…..                          “Hang their LAUNDRY, on my CLOTHESLINE” (pass of THEIR work to ME).                                                                  “They hang out, more than GRANDMAS undergarments do, in the BATHROOM”.   4. The MOOCHERS,                                    “Don’t ask for a PREACHER, and expect a CONGREGATION” or “pay for a SINGER, and expect a CHOIR”.                               “Don’t hitch YOUR horse, to MY wagon” or “feed YOUR animals, at MY troughs”.    “They Ask to BORROW a couple EGGS, but EXPECT an OMELETTE”.                      “Don’t invite yourself to my PICNIC, unless you packed your own BASKET”.    Just so THEY know……..                         “Don’t come around to reap the HARVEST, if you weren’t there, to PLANT the CROP”.             Ps “we don’t take HITCH HIKERS, on our CRAZY train” lol.                                                5. Folks that can’t COOK,                            “She can’t tell a LADLE, from a SPOON”.           “Can’t tell the difference between FLOUR and GUN POWDER”.                             “Doesn’t have the “sense” to add WATER and BISQUICK, to make drop bisquits”.      6. The CHEAPSKATES,                           “Tighter than the SKIRTING on a TRAILER house”.                                                          “Rubs a PENNY until honest ABES head is worn down to a SHADOW”

And please……..,
“Don’t INVITE me to DINNER, then expect me to BUY the groceries AND cook” and YES, it’s happened:(

  
I don’t hand out ADVICE too often, unless I am insulted, or asked, but just because I am old, doesn’t mean I STILL can’t be “as QUICK as SCHOOL yard GOSSIP”
Trust me, my twin DOESNT have any SLACK in her LASSO, either.

  
God bless us ALL
Www.texastwinstv.com
Www.thepawningplanners.com
Www.texastwinsevents.com
  

Wendy Wortham and Cindy Daniel Texas Humor at #cindyism and THE PAWNING PLANNERS

 

wendy wortham cindy daniel

   
That’s ME, Cindy Daniel my twin Wendy Wortham and our friend BRE:)

I have been a merchandiser for 15+ years, for various companies. 

Click on any highlighted link to see us on utube

The little Pawners 

The little Pawners and cat doesn’t want a bath
 Cindy Daniel Texas twins events 

Cindy on rednecks and hillbillies

Hillbilly how to

Cindy Daniel hillbilly fun

cindy daniel identical twin sister to wendy wortham

 
Oh the stories I could tell about the folks here, at walmart!!! I have my own #cindyism for them, and brother, some of these folks, REALLY do NEED it!
I took merchandising gigs, because of the flexible hours, and I have been raising my grand twins AKA The little Pawners for 11 years now, since their birth, and I still can earn EXTRA income:) 

 

twins makenna and maryssa mahaney

 
Myself, as well as the little Pawners, Makenna and Maryssa Mahaney, work with my twin sister, Wendy Wortham, as well, at BOTH her companies, Texas twins events AND the pawning planners. And YES I am the hillbilly of this TEAM:)!
If you ask me about MY twin, here’s some examples of the responses, you WILL get,
 Hey man I just work here,

 

twins wendy wortham and cindy daniel, twins makenna and maryssa mahaney, robert and stephaney hafele, steve daniel

 
#cindyism “just because I am milking the COW, doesn’t mean I OWN the DAIRY”
“Just because I am plowing the FIELD, doesn’t mean I OWN the farm”
My twin is the BOSS, on MOST of our adventures:)
 I TRY to raise my grand twins with MANNERS and WISH everybody else would do the same with their young! I use mam and sir often, because if you respect me, your gonna get respect in return:)
#grandmas wisdom, those TWO get it often, wether they want it, or not!
  

Example, the little twins come barging into the kitchen,”meme where are OUR flip flops”? My reply #cindyism “even a BLIND HOG, can find the feeding trough, SOMETIMES, granny doesn’t wear YOUR shoes:) and if your too LAZY to LOOK for them, WHY should I”? Yup we have to make them responsible, YOUNG:D

  
And good, bad or ugly feeling, I head off to MY merchandising gig: 
#cindyism “you CANT profit from the HARVEST, if you DONT plant the CROP” 
because, during the “rainy” season here, in Texas, my arthritis got me feeling like, “I fell OFF the TRACTOR, and got RUN over, by the PLOW”
 
This Grandma makes MOST of their clothing, and ALL of their accessories, like jewelry and head bands.
The “little twins, are my pride and joy!

  
And on MY way to my merchandising gig FUNNY things happen TOO!

  
Example #1, Heading to my merchandising job, stopped at walgreens, looking for hot flash Meds lol! A teenager approaches and ask “can I help you”? Me “looking for HOT FLASH suppliments” her “huh”? Ummm yea 
#cindyism “how you gonna DRIVE the chuck wagon, when you don’t even know, how to COOK” ( don’t try give ADVICE on things you don’t really KNOW or UNDERSTAND)
Because….. She “PULLED a chair out, at my DINING table, uninvited, when she SAW, the department, I was in…….
(Just because “EVERYBODY has a MAILBOX, doesn’t mean I “invited” them to “check” mine) some folks are just NOSEY and BOSSY

  
Example #2, I was helping my buddy, a walmart associate, stock shampoo. A LOREAL rep walks up in HIGH heels and a MINI skirt! We both look at each other. She looks at us and says, “yea you NEED to stock these cases for ME” my response? 
#cindyism “hey you ain’t the MAIN attraction at THIS petting ZOO honey” and we ain’t here to either PET or FEED you” and furthermore “NOT our luggage NOT our TRIP”
  

Example #3, Walmart folks love to give ADVICE, a shopper waltzes over to me and says, “you need to be stocking items over here” my response
#cindyism “hey LADY, how you gonna be MY TRAIL boss, on this RANCH? Because I SURE didn’t open the GATE and INVITE you in” (don’t be BOSSING me around, when you don’t even know, what your talking about) she just stood there, like a DEER, caught in the headlights! And that finally closed her “fly catcher” ( mouth)
Don’t get me WRONG, I am FULL of southern hospitality, but if you “pull a chair, up to my DINNER table, uninvited, you MAY get a response, you DONT like”
  

Example #4, A lady walks up and ask where something is, so I proceed to show her, another lady walks up and says “I need your help, over here” well I told her, let me help this lady, who approached me FIRST, she gets mad and starts cussing, walking off. 
#cindyism “some folks ain’t WORTH the SALT it would take, to JERKY them”
You can’t make EVERYONE happy, but SOME of these folks DO put a smile on my face!

  
Example #5, leaving my merchandising gig, had to sign the vendor book, some loudmouth at customer service cussing out cashier! Bragging about how much SHE spends there????! SERIOUSLY, oh brother! 
#cindyism “no matter how much MONEY you HAVE honey, CASH sure DONT BUY CLASS, so PLEASE, STOP making an A$$ out of yourself”
#cindyism “some folks are so STUCK UP, it reminds me of a PEZ candy dispenser, broken, in the open position” we are ALL equal, nobody better than the other:) kindness is FREE my friends! And so is a good LAUGH:) lol! 

Sometimes..,,,,,,

#cindyism “I would RATHER slap a Cowboys face, with a WAD of CHEWING tobacco IN IT!”

  
Example #6, A while back, I went with sister to file papers, and so, I am waiting on sister in car at courthouse, this guy walks up, I am thinking he wants MONEY, but NO! He opens up his COAT to FLASH ME!!!! And ask, am I SURPRISED???? My reply, NOPE, in fact I am DISSAPOINTED, that you would think something so SMALL, is worth a SHOW! 
#cindyism “you pulled a CHAIR up to MY table, friend, so NOW YOU can LISTEN to MY PRAYER” God bless the INNOCENT you approach, and God bless YOU as well, so that you may get the HELP, you are OBVIOUSLY in need of!
So you see???? #cindyism can happen ANYWHERE!
 Life as a merchandiser, in WALMART, yea it’s FUNNY!
Sometimes, I wonder if the CIRCUS is in town, because, so many CLOWNS are shopping at walmart!   

Example #7,  During my gig, I went to the back room looking for stuff, some ANGRY vendor ask “where’s YOUR badge”??!! So I FLASH it! And a SMILE:) she doesn’t even work in the DEPARTMENT I am in, she goes on to say “what are YOU looking for????! 
#cindyism “why are you asking mam, it’s NOT in your department, and besides how you gonna HELP me paint MY FENCE, when you ain’t even in the YARD”! Jeez I was wondering where she parked her BROOM outside AND looking up for FLYING MONKEYS!
 And sometimes, #cindyism happens OUTSIDE of walmart!   

  
Example #8,  I was at kinkos with sister, folks ARGUING, behind the counter, so I ask what’s going on to the other lady, she says they are DATING???! 
#cindyism “DONT $h|T, where you EAT$$$$ (work)” cause somebody is gonna get FIRED! 

  
Example #9, Minding my OWN business in line at the 7/11, fat guy behind ME, starts hitting on me, his COLOGNE, is STRONGER than last WEEKS road KILL, so I turn around, 
#cindyism “oh so you WANT to be my mechanic? That’s FUNNY, cause judging by the size of your GUT, you ain’t SEEN or USED the TOOLS God gave you, in YEARS! Heck at the rate your going, you would be LUCKY to find them pal!

  
Example #10, So I am at lowes, minding my own business, in flooring, some guy cussing out employee there, so I walked up and said,
#cindyism “hey buddy, you kiss your FAMILY with that SAME mouth, and take SUNDAY communion too”? He said what? I said, “oh you don’t understand ENGLISH, that’s why the only WORDS coming out of your MOUTH have FOUR letters???? He left!!! Lol

   
So yea, told the old man to go fix The springs on the trampoline, while I wash CLOTHES, three hours later, look out the window, NOTHING has changed! 
#cindyism “just because I OWN this HORSE, doesn’t mean, I can MAKE him RIDE” 20+ YEARS, and he he still ain’t BROKE IN:( he was sitting on our 10+ year broken deck, reading a FISHING magazine! Jeez!

  
 Yup! #stevedaniel my old man stands next to our deck that has been BROKEN in the CENTER for TEN years!! 
So I ask him, “hey buddy u gonna FIX that today” him “NOPE” but look, I hung a SIGN, for you:) 
#cindyism “don’t ask for MUCH, and you will NEVER, be disappointed”
Count your BLESSINGS, for the FRIENDS and FAMILY that help and LOVE you for FREE$$$$ and UNCONDITIONALY, 

Remember…….
#cindyism if you DIDNT pay for a SINGER then, don’t EXPECT a CHOIR folks!!!! ANY help from ANYONE needs A THANK YOU:)
Between my “redneck life” and my walmart gig, The pawning planners AND Texas twins events, life is pretty DARN funny folks!! AINT NOBODY gonna get BORED, with TWO sets of TWINS!!! God bless us ALL
  

You can’t PROFIT from the HARVEST if you don’t plant the CROP #cindyism

Childhood memories don’t just happen, they are planned and executed, by the parents or grandparents.  Usually, IE, me and my twin, Halloween this year, will be NO different.

So when I use my #cindyism….

“You can’t PROFIT from the HARVEST, if you don’t PLANT the CROP”

It can refer to working to earning  a living, or planning a great adventure!

This year we are headed out to Gordon Texas, population less than 478, The school teaches grades K-12, and it is the ONLY school in the county that does, the fall festival will be held in the school gymnasium. We are going to see our aunt and cousins, who are having the festival, to raise money for the volunteer fire department. 

The older kids didn’t want to come, but with nothing else to do, reluctantly, are going to join us!

Caravans with TWO sets of twins are hilarious, because BOTH sets, have compensating personalities. 

My twin is kind of healthy food wise and so is Makenna, me and Maryssa, aren’t much into health guides, or stories, we could throw that book, in the TRASH! We don’t go to a buffet, and fill up on salad! But still, multigeneration twins, will always be, “tighter than a BRICK WALL or ROAD” (very close)

Everybody, around here, tries to be in charge of events, my advice is always…

“You CANT lead the CHUCK WAGON, if you DONT know how to COOK” (you can’t be in CHARGE, if you DONT know what you are doing)

My twin always pays for everything, mainly because, she has the most money!

“I don’t EXPECT a LOBSTER dinner, on my CATFISH budget” other folks might lol!

Wendy does EVERYTHING on a schedule, and for some in the family, it’s not always so good, I won’t name any names, but one gal in particular, “acts like a SHINY new penny, when we ALL know, she’s been SPARE change, in so MANY hip pockets, ABES head, done turned into, a SHADOW” (she’s been around the block, and then some) she is LATE, to every scheduled event, because she HAS to be, the CENTER of attention! 

And if she isn’t that’s when she gets LIT, and I dish out more of my #cindyism

“This isn’t a RESERVATION, I ain’t a WOODEN INDIAN, so don’t expect me, to stand STILL, for YOUR WAR DANCE”

And……..”if you are gonna stand around CLUCKING, like the PRIZE HEN”, then I expect to see some EGGS hitting the FLOOR”

Which, as you can imagine, gets MY girdle popping! (Makes me mad) and wendy ain’t too happy about it, either! But, with family, “the DINNER, doesn’t ALWAYS, turn out, as planned” but MOST folks, including us, are gonna eat it anyway. (We put up, with it).

 But that doesn’t mean…..

“If somebody is going to be, LOUDER than the MARCHING BAND, in a PARADE, I am going to, WALK with THEM” I in fact, will either walk away, or give a BIGGER show, then opening day at the STATE FAIR!

 

Makenna and Maryssa Mahaney

 
My old man, is coming too, which always makes me laugh, mainly because, he NEVER knows, what’s going on, and is always afraid, about how much it will cost!

He is “tighter than, the SKIRTING on a TRAILER HOUSE” (cheap)

Sometimes he is “rougher, than SAND PAPER” (grouchy) but that’s ok, he’s old, and I can handle him. He gets WORSE, when around the entire family, and the”special” lady, “whose like a TEXAS tornado, a lot of THUNDER, with heavy WINDS, followed by, a TORRENTIAL downpour” and again, I won’t name anybody’s name, because, she knows who she is lol!

  
I accept folks faults, mainly because I have several, of my own. And I would NEVER, “throw TRASH, over my NEIGHBORS fence, when I am living, at the DUMP” (be a hypocrite) You know what happens when you get a bunch of BIG personalities in one room? A Texas fuss, that’s what, and nobody ever wins, but it is fun to watch!

I don’t “kick a chair out for them, at my dinner table” they just, sit down, anyway! And listening to them, “hang THEIR laundry, on MY clothesline” (tell me their problems) is a card game, I would like to pass my hand on to ANYONE else to play. But then again, it’s family, and unlike a stranger, your kind of obliged to stay. 

I really am hoping today’s adventures don’t get out of hand, with “a SQUIRRELS buffet” (mixed nuts) all in one place, because Halloween really is for the kids!

This IS Texas, so they should ALL know….

“Don’t SHAKE the TREE, unless you are WILLING to EAT the FRUIT, that falls” (Don’t rattle my cage)

“My lighter, may be SHY on butane, but this old broad, has plenty of SPARK left”

God bless us ALL folks! Happy Halloween!

  
My pride and joy, the grand twins, Makenna and Maryssa Mahaney