#cindyism family and fueding with Wendy Wortham and Cindy Daniel

My twins son Robert and his wife Stephaney, fight CONSTANTLY, and mostly about NOTHING! My twin fights with him over constantly adding tattoos and his wife is guilty of it too. Robert doesn’t like to dress up, a crime I am guilty of myself lol!

   
The little twins Makenna and Maryssa argue as well, usually over music, but now, add cute boys to the list too. 
Me and my twin are “TIGHTER than a CHAIN link FENCE” but occasionally, we argue over her, constantly trying to dress me FANCY, when I don’t like to “dress up” for ANY event! But occasionally, I will cave in:)

Sometimes, with outdoor events “it can get COLDER than a LAWYERS, or an EX HUSBANDS heart” outside. But, in the SUMMER, I am tempted to STUFF my bra with some ice! 

Wendy INSIST on everybody being on time at Wortham world, we ALL know, “that TRACTOR ain’t gonna PLOW” and that’s a sure fire way to get her GIRDLE popping, because folks are ALWAYS late! Which can make my twin, a “SQUIRRELS DINNER” (nuts) so she LIES about the time, so we all get there actually EARLY!

  
She worries about EVERYTHING, I myself try to worry about NOTHING! Actually if I HAVE to worry about something, I tell HER, and she will solve my problem for me, she is as HANDY, as SYRUP to PANCAKES.

  
Her list making skills, should be patented! She’s 100x times worse than Santa Claus, because she will check HER LIST, numerous times. She over packs for any trip, while I don’t pack at ALL, for myself, I have a black dress, it goes with EVERYTHING, my focus is always, the little twins. 

  
 Neither of our husbands ever escort us on our ventures, mainly because I argue with mine, a lot, and WENDYS husband Mathew likes “peace and quiet” which I don’t know when he ever gets to enjoy that luxury, not with this band of hillbillies and rednecks! 

  
When we do arrive, we are LOUDER than the HALF time events DURING a SUPER BOWL” storming through, WENDYS immaculate home. I like to “point out” how UBER clean HER house is, because mine, is the total OPPOSITE! Yes we are twins, but with completely different personalities and mannerisms.

  
My husband is famous, for being INVISIBLE, whenever I need him for anything, and yea it really burns my BISQUITS! So when he ask for me for something, I am constantly reminding him, of all the broken things I had to fix, because he was hiding from me. 

  
And so it goes, ” even if you step in OLD SHIT, it’s still gonna STINK” (people don’t change, problems don’t go away)
You could send my old man to the store for BREAD, and he would come home with MILK. But after 20+ years, just because I OWN this horse, doesn’t mean I can make him RIDE!  

  
All of us are a FEW fruit trees shy of an ORCHARD, sometimes. (Crazy)
But when the entire family gets together, we are a “SQUIRRELS BUFFET” (mixed nuts)
Wendy has a gift of making you want to end an argument, I call it the “pack your BAGS, she’s sending us on a GUILT TRIP again” scenario, she’s really GOOD at it tho.

  
And if that doesn’t work, then things can get really HARD, IE food and stuff, because she always foots the BILL on everything. And hey, food is something I REALLY enjoy, especially when somebody else is paying! If you KICK a chair out for me, at your table, I ain’t gonna be SHY.

  
I love going over to my twins house, since she over purchases everything I always leave with some bags lol, although, she did tell me, her husband noticed I arrive empty handed, and leave with bags?! Hmmm I didn’t know he was paying attention, oh well:)

  
We are all excited about this weekends events, will there be drama? Of course, when FAMILY is a constant around here, and NOBODY can ever agree on ANYTHING, might as well, let the good times roll! TWO sets of TWINS and friends, get ready world, “we might NOT be the DIAMONDS you wanted, but this handful of CZ’s will SHINE ON!

God bless us ALL
  

#cindyism with The pawning Planners Twins its TEXAS funny! Wendy Wortham and Cindy Daniel

Me and my twin sister fall off of DIETS, more than TURNIPS fall off of a FARMERS truck.  And it IS frustrating.  

Diet disappointments…..

“Make us like TEXAS weather, with our ATTITUDES goin from BAD to WORSE” daily lol

And ladies…….,

Just because you “attend” a workout class, doesn’t make you a fitness guru! To give unwanted advice to newbies, without even being asked.

Their “advice” is as unwanted, as a SKUNK at a LAWN party!  
Don’t get me WRONG…..

“In life, if you want the HONEY from the HIVE, be warned, there’s gonna be a few STINGS” And this set of twins has been STUNG, plenty lol.

We are WILLING to take our WINS with our losses.

The yoga instructor was talking FASTER, than a PREACHER, at a SUNRISE SERMON!

No REALLY, that lady could TALK the BARN doors, right off the HINGES! And it was hard for me to listen, with sweat running from my head, into my my dang ears.

And sure all the young folks were checking out the old twin broads on the BACK row, but truth be told, we were checking THEM out as well!

And no offense, but some of those ladies in the yoga class, dressed kind of skimpy, 

“They were like a TRUCKERS cb radio, it’s looked like ANYBODY could have picked them UP”

Really……

“Some folks can’t see the CORN FIELD, for the CROP”

    
And while EVERYONE has advice, on losing weight, they are usually, SKINNY folks who have never been FAT!

If I didn’t hand you the keys to MY car, don’t try to get behind the WHEEL! (Don’t give me advice, unless I ask)

 

twins cindy daniel and wendy wortham with our BESTIE tammy leggett

#cindyism

“Please don’t tell me how to PLAY, when you ain’t even in the GAME” 
And PLEASE……

“Unless YOU are my MECHANIC, please don’t get UNDER my HOOD ” (stay out of my business, if you have NO idea, what you are talking about)

“I don’t THROW trash over my NEIGHBORS fence, when I am LIVING at the DUMP” ( be a hypocrite)

We tried HOT yoga awhile back, and with all the YOUNG folk and their FANCY workout clothes, we FIT in like a Couple of HAMBURGERS at the CHIK fil A!

“Some folks are like a PEZ dispenser, stuck in the OPEN position” (stuck up)

We didn’t have expensive SPANDEX, we had walmart SWEAT pants with our “old mens” T shirts! Heck the ONLY way my twin could even AFFORD that class, was with a COUPON!

And HEY, if that “hot yoga class” was a CASINO, me and wendy would be a couple of “PLUG NICKELS” trying to “fit in” with the SILVER dollars! $$$$$$$

“You CANT make GRAVY, out of WATER” (miracles don’t just happen)

  
Did we lose weight???? NO! Did I think I was gonna DIE? ABSOLUTELY! I didn’t know anybody, could sweat that much, and when I tried to leave, all the SKINNY folks, told us we couldn’t, because, They would lose the steam from that HELL hole, they called, the SAUNA room!

Even though me and my twin thought we were dying?! “Some folks ain’t worth the SALT it would take, to JERKY them”!

Now I REALLY do know, what it means two SWEAT! 

“we were sweating like a couple of LAWYERS in CHURCH” 

No REALLY, we were like a Couple of GOVERNORS in a whorehouse, during a POLICE RAID” (Now that’s some SERIOUS sweating, folks)

We limped out of there, “looking like we had been DRUG behind a CATTLE hauler, on TRIP around the WORLD! (We looked like crap) and our HAIR looked like it had been RUN thru the HAY bayler TWICE!

No joke, worse than that, we “felt like” we done FELL off our tractors and were followed up, by getting ran OVER with the PLOWS!

Because they don’t just make you sweat, they want you to “work out” while you are doing it. And hey, the biggest work out I involve myself in, is checking the MAIL! And that’s depressing enough!

And Ya know, after all of that, nightmares included, I have to say, I guess I will stay chubby lol.

“Sometimes the UGLIEST tree, can bare the SWEETEST fruit”  
 Let’s face it, you got to have some ROLLS with your gravy:)!

When I married my old man, 20+ years ago, he KNEW, “my TREES trunk would GROW” and he ain’t tried to PRUNE my limbs, yet!

I like to keep his expectations of my DIETS low, that way he’s never gonna get disappointed lol.

   
Funny stuff happens to me and my twin. Last night, at a wedding, WENDYS car acted like it wouldn’t start! And hey, unlike the old days, getting a young “BUCK” to help, two OLD broads, ain’t as easy as it USED to be!  

Because, let’s face it, triple AAA for assistance??? Ye that would be a TRIPLE threat, to us!

1. NO triple AAA card!

2. No MONEY to get ONE!

3. Repeat number 2!

But you know, a middle aged man, did go find jumper cables! So I guess we still HALFWAY got it lol!  

And then, our friends shoe broke, which wasn’t a problem, for ME! I can fix darn near anything, because it IS, the redneck way, and this REDNECKS reality! All I needed, was what I ALREADY had, a paper clip!

 
When you don’t have the MONEY to replace stuff, you recycle and repair it! WE DO, because in “OUR WORLD” it’s the ONLY way to go.

Some folks, don’t TRY, at pretty much ANYTHING, and to those folks, I HAVE to say, 

“if you want the FRUIT in the TREE, sometimes, you have to CLIMB out on the LIMB! Maybe NOT reaching what you want, ALL the time, but if you DONT try, then you ain’t NEVER gonna know, either.

And p.s…….”you should NEVER shake a TREE, without being WILLING, to eat the fruit, that FALLS from it” (sometimes in life, there are risk, be willing to take them, with your VICTORIES)

   
And don’t judge me for being a little HEAVY friends………

“because you CANT lead the CHUCK WAGON, if you DONT know to COOK” 

and trust ME, I know how to COOK! And also, I ain’t afraid to KICK out a chair, at my OWN dining table, to SAMPLE my own FIXINGS. Maybe too OFTEN. 

And sometimes your DINNER doesn’t “turn out” as planned, but most folks (friends and family) are gonna eat it anyway! (Real folks accept you for who you are) 

My nephew Robert and his wife, Stephaney, she’s a TINY little gal, I have to “watch her” because a good summer rain, could WASH her AWAY!

Heck, “she’s so skinny, she LOST her SHADOW”

Yes there are folks of ALL sizes, and I LIKE it that way!

Www.texastwinsevents

Www.thepawningplanners.com

God BLESS us ALL folks!
     

  

  

twins makenna and maryssa mahaney #thelittlepawners